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You, Craig, are my uncommon nonsense, and you are my license to do more. Don't let me near your steering wheel, or your column.

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I leave these comments alone for 5 days and look what a mess I come back to

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Anonymity is the true appeal of onanism. Just imagine gathering with your most uptight friends and family and declaring "I think I'll go engage in some onanism." The confused looks and flustered reactions would be priceless! No one would have any idea what you're really up to. Onanism allows you to get away with all sorts of mischief while appearing innocent as a lamb. Sneaking in a quick bit of onanism sounds much more discreet than the bland alternatives. So if you're looking for a discreet, versatile, and family-friendly word, look no further than onanism!

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CRAAAAAAIG

CRAAAAAIG

CRAIG

CRAAAAAAIG

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Jeanne

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and he goes on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on-an-on

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Thrilling

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I was aroused when you were talking about onanism. Good episode. Ugh.

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Thrilety is how I'm listed in my bestie's phone because when we met 11 years ago he was drunk when he put my number in his phone and he'd just told me he was going to a karaoke bar when I said "i don't do anal, and i don't do karaoke." But now I'm wondering if Thrilety is my own alter ego that I forgot existed? Also, I may stop stalking you and stalk my one true love, the Podcast Ombudsman 3 - i think he has a nickname that I tried to look up in the "poudcast" channel but it's gone and i feel dumb, but the Podcast Ombudsman won't care. Don't read this missive on the podcast radio, i will write another one that is pithier and possibly james clearier - nah, no way.

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Call me Bichael

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